You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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