Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
40s are totally the cure
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
