i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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