I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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