Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
