when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
