I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
