and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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