she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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