Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
this hospital has no fireball
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
