i permit you to call me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize