I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she told me i tasted like america
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
