There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
