Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
