conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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