haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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