ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
