can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
