Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?