dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
