You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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