one two three fourrrrnication!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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