If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
