My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How's work?
Spinning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
