Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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