i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
