I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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