What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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