they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
