I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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