I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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