Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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