normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
