my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
