and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
