I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
