and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
