Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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