Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize