woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
