I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
