i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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