just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
