I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize