Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
