you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize