He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
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Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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