I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
