Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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