escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
