is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
