I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
